Memoir Reflection

I thought the memoir project was pretty cool. But I definitely had more of a blast with the mixed media part of it than anything else. I am almost a complete noob at audio editing and the experience of the whole thing was pretty badass for me. That was basically my first time doing something out of Garageband and it worked out pretty well. It felt amazing to tie a piece of paper in with something that I'm really most comfortable with. It just helped my overall mood and made the whole process a little easier. Especially considering the topic of my memoir. I never talked about it with anyone but it felt good to get it out. But I thought the mixed media was amazing. I wish I could do stuff like that more often with projects.

I Just Wanna Be Average

A. The funny thing to me was how much of a slacker the guy really was at first. He didn't really have any ambition to do anything. He was always extremely observant, careful, and mindful of his surroundings, but for a really long time he never had that buzz to succeed or do anything else. It wasn't until an experience with MacFarland that he really buckled down, and for lack of a better word really gave a shit. But once he started giving himself the actual chance to succeed he was extraordinary. He became completely captivated by all these things he was experiencing and all the stuff he was reading. The guy was naming a zillion different authors as if they were almost like appendages to him. His education influenced him  because it gave him the confidence he needed in order to succeed. He always had it but didn't realize it until he really tried to.

B.As far as the individual cues that he talks about, I think that it is more of a metaphor for noticing what other people are doing around him. He always noticed things but just went idly by until MacFarland. He took a lot of cues from him. And the thing is that they weren't limited to just educational cues either. I thought he learned a couple of social ones too. Cues play a role in identity because I feel that a lot of people when confused about their own identity, try to take a semblance of someone else's. And then they just build on that.

The Social Meanings of Gender

The article was kind of nuts to me but at the same time it had a weird sense of being relatable. I thought it brought up some interesting points but it's not really anything I haven't head before. I took A.P. Psych my senior year of high school and I remember this as on of the chapters that we spent a lot of time on... i.e. how you're influenced by all these different factors when you're young that determine how you're going to act eventually. Basically it has to do with that whole classic nature vs. nurture argument. Which one affects us the most? I personally think that the argument is kind of pointless because to me there's obviously a connection there with points from both sides. But it can really stem from your upbringing as well which goes more with the nurture standpoint... For example think about what your parents may have gotten you for your birthday when you were very small. For girls it could have been a doll or for guys a toy dinosaur. As for today's society I think it's relevant because it could help you understand why certain things are they way they are. But I personally think that the whole gender role thing is a load of crap because it really depends on the person. There's always going to be the "black sheep" of a culture's norm and it really shouldn't matter to anyone but that particular person...

Alex Assignment #9

To me my physicality is really nothing above average. But to be honest it kind of in a weird way feels like each part of my body is a representation of something I was going through at some point or am going through in general, and somehow it reflects a part of me. I occasionally have a hunching issue that my parents always nag at me about. I've always been kind of little shy and introverted yet really confident when it comes to certain things and maybe that has something to do with it. But when I actually do stand up straight I'm about 5'11 or 6 feet when I'm really standing up straight. I have a cool scar on my left arm from a ragged piece of metal on a tire swing and it reminds me of some good times I had with my family. I remember visiting San Francisco with the lot of them when I was little and it was one of my fondest memories. Even including all the blood from the scar which at the time I thought was very cool for some reason... I used to be very blonde when I was a little kid and now it's changed to a sandy brown/almost dirty blonde kind of thing. I thought it was kind of funny because when I was smaller I used to pretend that my hair turning color meant a sort of little loss of innocence. I have long hair but it used to be a lot longer. I like it because I think it's a reflection of my laid back personality. I also want to clarify the difference between that and being lazy. Though I can indeed be a lazy bastard sometimes... Plus as a sidenote I have a humongous dent on the right side of my head from an unfortunate radiator incident from when I was about 6 or 7 years old (which is why I will never shave my head). I'm also the only one in my family with hair that isn't ridiculously dark brown or eyes that aren't brown. My eyes are the thing about me that I like the most even though I really hate to admit it. Especially since they change color depending on the time of day. I like to think it fluctuates with my mood but it obviously doesn't. They're green but at later times of night they have a sort of blue tinge to them that I think is really cool. Something I do regret is breaking my nose several times. It resulted in a lot of kids making fun of me in school and that was not fun. It's amazing what a couple pieces of broken misplaced cartilage can do... As for my actual build I'm actually really bony. A lot of people seem really surprised by that.

Alex Assignment #8

I roughly just turned eight years when I had my first panic attack. I was going to start school in less than a month and the thought of the experience was like a migraine ripping through my skull nonstop. It was all that I was thinking about and it made my gut feel in a way that can only be described as the ultimate experience of Twister. I could never make any friends as hard as I tried. My eager yet quirky and shy demeanor really put some people off I suppose. Truly the only bright side was the thought that I would get to see Claire Mellish again. Gosh she was the prettiest girl in the whole second grade. She had the biggest wandering sparkly eyes covered by the coolest shaped glasses , the dirty honey-brownish hair, and the great smile that always made you feel like you were the only one in the room. Some call it love and it certainly felt like it at the time when alas everyone was still in their cootie phase. But what kind of a blonde, rosy cheeked kid could have a chance with an amazing girl like that. Then all of a sudden in literally the blink of an eye all that left my mind when the piercing sound of an almost bloodcurdling scream from a girl and her mother fell into my ears. I didn't know what it was but all I knew was that I didn't fucking like it. As fast as I could process the whole thing I leaped out of my bed and ran down those long familiar narrow stairs. My heart was pounding already. Something like this happened before but this felt much worse already. I knew that this time things weren't going to be the same. I launched myself into my mother's room and low and behold there were her and my sister of fourteen literally smacking the hell out of each other. The look on their faces showed me something I never wanted to witness in my life. Something like this was way too much for me to handle at such a young age. I ran back up the stairs to my room and almost immediately collapsed to the floor. I felt helpless, exhilarated, and scared for my life. I couldn't open my eyes and all I felt was the feeling as if someone was stomping on my chest repeatedly.  Forget breathing. It wasn't important to me but after a minute or two all of a sudden I looked up and stared at the weird childlike pattern of my wallpaper. I wasn't home anymore.

Alex Extra Credit Assignment

The main things that I generally use to "judge" or more so connect to a piece of music are whether I think it's original, heartfelt, thoughtful, expressive, but more importantly do I feel like I can relate to it or just the way that it makes me feel as a result. I also suppose it depends on the song. I know that it's a really cliche' answer but that really means a lot to me. I love it when artists are true to themselves. That doesn't mean at all that I love every forms of music in the known free world either but it does mean that I can appreciate it for what it is and what it stands for. But there has to be that fine line in between. For example you have Rebecca Black and a majority of all those pretentious Disney Channel teen stars where their music is just processed out of Pro Tools and Auto tune and is completely unthoughtful and basically used as a commercial appeal and no value for anything else. And one of funniest things about music to me it is that the way I view it and base my reflections on can be something radically different to someone else. For example I'm going to go into a song from one of my all time favorite albums. This is sort of an extreme example but bear with me a little. "I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm. I'm the runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb. I am a world's forgotten boy, the one who searches and destroys." those are the first lines that spewed out of Iggy Pop and meant a revolution to me. It didn't even feel like a song to me. I didn't know what I thought of it. I didn't fully understand it but for some strange reason I knew I wanted it. It brought me the true meaning of punk rock and the symbol of a great beginning that I never want to end. Everyone in the world has some sort of feeling of insecurity and this song stood out when I was feeling at my worst. Whenever I listen to this song I feel like I can do anything. It makes me believe that people can take their limits and basically give them the finger. But the crazy part is that the same song can mean jack-shit to someone else. It could be shot off as idiotic rambling and shouting. As far as my criteria for actual lyrics it really depends once again. But once again I'm going with originality and creativity and just the overall attitude. If I feel that the lyrics fit with what the overall tone of the music is going for then it works. For example "Holy Diver" by Ronnie James Dio (R.I.P.) has some of the cheesiest lyrics I have ever heard in my life but at the same they're awesome because they blend a story behind them that fits with the mood of the lyrics. And as far as just concerning lyrics my aesthetic is based on the overall play between the words and melodies. Musicians I think are more geared towards every part of the song and some others might just pay attention to the lyrics and catchiness of the lyrics. That doesn't mean at all that I'm saying you have to be a musician to appreciate all aspects of a song. It really depends on who is listening and how they react to it. The bottom line is that everyone is different.